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HAIL CAESAR!

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HAIL CAESAR!

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Lee Statue VandalsRichmond, Va. As everyone knows, I am a brilliant constitutional lawyer. Many of you are confused, and are suffering under the illusion that the Roman Republic still exists. Let me interpret the new rules laid down by Caesar and his procouncul here in Richmond:

There is a curfew in place, but only If you are a law abiding citizen, interested in protecting your property and family. Should you wish to desecrate property, steal from and assault residents, the curfew does not apply to you.

It is ok to burn businesses to the ground, but it is unlawful to operate a business.

Should you wish to peacefully assemble and petition Caesar over his seizure of your property, you may be arrested. If not arrested, Caesar will morally shame you for being selfish. However, should you want to steal and destroy other people’s property, Caesar will praise you and assist in your efforts.

The law? Caesar is the law.

Cheers!

 

 

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Rob Smith

Rob Smith is a lawyer and Managing Director of Chartwell Capital in Richmond, Virginia. He is mean as a snake and likes to kick little puppies when he see them. He also enjoys making children cry and tripping old ladies. He is extremely superficial and shallow. His favorite pastimes/hobbies are pissing people off, littering and being obnoxious.

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