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Name Hurricanes after womenRemember when Merica used to name hurricanes after women? That was perfectly sensible. The National Weather Service wanted people to be afraid. I am sure you fellas can attest, especially if you’ve ever been sitting in the Lazyboy watching the Virginia game, and suddenly a woman appears vacuuming around your feet and screaming at you! That’s damn scary! Now since the men are the ones who are going to be nailing up the plywood and stacking the sand bags, doesn’t it make sense, as a matter of national policy, to trigger them into responsible behavior with good “girl” names? Nobody is triggered by ” ISAIAS.” I’ve never dated an ISAIAS, much less even known one. It must be one of those PC transgender names. I’m sorry, but a hurricane that is confused about whether it is a boy or a girl is not very scary. Has anyone ever been scared of a hurricane named “Pat?”

Being the feminist that I am, I think it is time to STAND UP FOR WOMEN, and start renaming hurricanes after them, which is why I have started a new 501 C3, HNM; Hurricane Names Matter!

Anybody watch Dirty John this season? Naming a hurricane Betty Anne would make every man in its path pack up the family and drive to the Ozarks. It would save lives. Ask Dr. Fauci, he agrees with me, and is one of the co-founders of HNM.Mary Sue McGillicuddly

Mary Sue is a good hurricane name. I dated Mary Sue McGillicuddly in law school. She’d put on a few pounds, and asked me how she looked in the new Talbot’s dress she’d bought. I responded “fat.” ( I come from a family of all boys). Whew! Talk about a storm! Flower pots, china and kitchen knives were flying towards me from all directions. It was like that scene from Poltergeist. After the fire, I woke up in the hospital, and the Doc told me about the total destruction of the whole city block where my apartment was.

Lorena is a great hurricane name, but should be saved for Cat 5 hurricanes. In 1993, Lorena Bobbitt cut off her husband’s penis. It was all over the newspapers. Nothing scares a man into action more than a penisectomy. A recent national survey conducted by the CDC revealed that since 1993, when women scream at men, 96% of them reflexively put their hands over their groin area and assume a defensive posture.

Dr. Fauci and I are excited about this “cause celebre.” As a very progressive feminist, I am thrilled to be part of this movement. Not only do I get to be the co-leader of a movement that will save lives, but I get to stand up for womens’ rights. Well, and to be truthful, I think my leadership in this area will surely make me more popular with the babes!

For more examples of my progressive thinking and love for humanity, go to my internationally recognized on line magazine, ROB IS RIGHT at www.robisright.com.

Rob Smith

Rob Smith is a lawyer and Managing Director of Chartwell Capital in Richmond, Virginia. He is mean as a snake and likes to kick little puppies when he see them. He also enjoys making children cry and tripping old ladies. He is extremely superficial and shallow. His favorite pastimes/hobbies are pissing people off, littering and being obnoxious.

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