Well 9:30 church turned out to be a huge outdoor yoga class. Here are my impressions:
There was a hippie looking dude playing some kind of mandolin and chanting, another guy who hadn’t bathed in the past month would beat a drum about every 45 seconds. I was a little concerned that there might be some “Jim Jones” punch and this was the end of the world. I would have been a lot more relaxed if Barry White was onstage in a blue jump suit singing “Love Serennade.” There was also a lot of pagan sounding talk about “the earth” and the “wind” and feeling each other’s “energy.” ( I had Mexican the night before, so I am quite sure those down “wind” of me felt my “energy”). I looked up, half expecting to see Druids in all the trees. Then we were supposed to close our eyes and think nice thoughts about the universe while the instructor chicks all made this whale like, AUMMMM sound. ( My eyes weren’t really shut, and I wasn’t thinking nice thoughts either, I took the opportunity to stare at KL’s ass).
The next thing we did was all hold hands and form a big daisy chain and dance around the meadow, excuse me, I mean the “earth.” It reminded me of doing the Love Train (O’Jays) at a St. Margaret’s School dance when I was in the 11th grade. I didn’t mind it a bit. I didn’t understand all the references to “breathing,”… what is so hard about breathing? Well, I did kind of lose my breath when Inga and KL were “gettin it on.” Double Shazam!
Well for all of y’all who think I am a boorish, provincial and superficial pig, now you know better. Now you know how enlightend, progressive, tolerant and open minded I am. Guess I showed you. AUMMMMM…..