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APRIL 1, 2020

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Dishonest Abe

Today, I disavow my former allegiance to the Confederate States of America.

In early 1861, 80% of the revenue that flowed into the federal treasury came from the southern states. The northern majority in Congress passed innumerable laws favoring their crony capitalist buddies by imposing onerous and expensive regulations on southern commerce. My golly, if the “free trade” South seceded, no ship would ever dock in a northern port ! Within weeks, there would be grass growing in the sidewalks of New York!  What else was Abe to do, but invade Virginia, burn our houses down and steal everything! It was just down right unreasonable to ask the North to compete against the South on a level playing field! I mean, gosh darn, only 650,000 people died so that northern industrialists could continue to have their state supported enterprises.

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Rob Smith

Rob Smith is a lawyer and Managing Director of Chartwell Capital in Richmond, Virginia. He is mean as a snake and likes to kick little puppies when he see them. He also enjoys making children cry and tripping old ladies. He is extremely superficial and shallow. His favorite pastimes/hobbies are pissing people off, littering and being obnoxious.

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