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Happy Birthday to “Kenny Boy”

Happy Birthday to “Kenny Boy”

Unfortunately, Ken was born on that war criminal Abe Lincoln’s birthday. When my mother went into labor on Feb. 12th, Pop told her to “HOLD IT,” so he wouldn’t have to share a birthday w Dishonest Abe. But Kenny Boy was anxious to get out, he had opinions he wanted to express. He uttered his first F word when he was 3 days old.
Being 30 years older than I am, he was my hero growing up, and still is. Unlike Abe, he never arrested the Maryland legislature, suspended habeas corpus or burnt people’s houses down. If you look up the word “loquacious” in Websters dictionary, you will find Ken’s picture. He’ll talk to a Wooden Indian. To say he’s opinionated is a bit like saying the North Pole is cold. Unlike the war monger Lincoln, who never was in the military, Kenny Boy was a Marine combat veteran in Vietnam. Unlike Abe, he never had a crazy wife. All of Ken’s 16 wives were pretty normal.
The son of a bitch has lived a colorful life and done a bunch of good stuff for other people. He spends much of his time now with other combat vets raising money and awareness for other vets. I say he’s still my hero bc he has certain personality traits that I admire: among them, honesty, loyalty and fearlessness. He ain’t a latte sippin pajama boy. He is a friggin man w the whole panoply of manly virtues. He’s a John Wayne tough guy, but has a huge heart, will rush to help anybody and the first to jump in the foxhole with you. With his quite liberal use of the F and MF words, you might be surprised to know that he is a dedicated Christian, who not only understands doctrine, but lives it.
Unlike Abe, Kenny Boy never issued an arrest warrant for a Chief Justice, never arrested innocent people or sent his goons to burn and destroy dissenting newspapers……..
I think on February 12th, we should celebrate Kenny Boy Day, instead of that other fella…..
Rob Smith

Rob Smith is a lawyer and Managing Director of Chartwell Capital in Richmond, Virginia. He is mean as a snake and likes to kick little puppies when he see them. He also enjoys making children cry and tripping old ladies. He is extremely superficial and shallow. His favorite pastimes/hobbies are pissing people off, littering and being obnoxious.

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