UVA v. Duke. In a couple hours, the erudite scholars from the bucolic environs of Charlottesville, located in the Old Dominion, home of the oldest continuous representative democracy in the World, will travel to the crime and opioid infested neighborhoods of Durham, North Carolina, where Duke University, an institution of faux architecture and unattractive women is located. The young Adonis’s from the University of Virginia are all steeped in the mysteries and philosophies of antiquity, the artful expression of the Rennaissance and the sciences of modernity. They wear the armor of Jesus on their breastplate. The Duke bandits and their leaders practice a strange form of sorcery called “Obnoxious Yankee Cheaterism,” which was known to exist in Salem, Massachusetts as early as 1690. Unfortunately, these satanic rituals were never fully extinguished from our shores due to the outcome of “the Late Unpleasantness of 1865.”

The contest will be held at Cameron Indoor Stadium, a place where pimply faced, pencil neck men delude themselves by thinking that they actually know something about sports and the grand allusion that one day they will actually have sex with a woman. This is nothing short of a true Arthurian tale of Golden Knights marching into battle to preserve Western Civilization. Indeed the Commie Duke faculty is on record of hating Western Civilization and pines for its demise.

To paraphrase Churchill, never was the fate of so many dependent on so few….. Go Hoos!